Dream 07.26

I'm trapped in this house.
This big, white house. There are no locks on any of the doors. That's not what's keeping me in. The doors don't even stay shut when you want them to.
I'm trapped there because of the space outside. It's vast and empty. It's not dark or light instead it's just buzzing energy. You can't see it but you can feel it.
From the front door there's one staircase, it's the only thing leading in or out. It goes down the right side of the house at a diagonal and it descends into nothing as far as you can see.
I'm in the house and I'm scared.
Everything inside is white and blank. Empty. I'm looking out the door. Something is coming. It's headed up the stairs. I can't see it, but I can feel it. It's a heaviness, a mental darkness, if you will. I'm breathing quick and heavy, my hands feel pinpricked and in pain, along with my feet. I'm shaking uncontrollably but I'm realizing that I can't feel anything at all.
I'm cold.
I back up slowly and turn into the kitchen. Two people are sitting at the table across from each other. I look more closely and see that it's two of the same person. Just a mirror image. They both look up at me but there's no expression on either their faces. Emotionless. There's no feeling at all although for some reason I can hear them screaming. I hope I'm going crazy and that none of it is real.
The mixture of anticipation and fear draws me back towards the front door. I open it and there's the heaviness. So close I'm breathing it in. So quiet. I push the door shut and it pops open, I push it shut again and the same thing happens. I run back into the kitchen and they're still sitting there, staring at each other. I go into a room and look out the window, down that infinite staircase. It's in the house, and there's more of it coming as far down as I am able to see.
Everything goes quiet. I hear it. I spin around and there it is, staring me in the face. I start to cry but my facial expression doesn't change. I just sit looking at it with tears rolling down my cheeks. It overtakes me and I'm sucked down. It lasts only a few seconds which feel like ages. When it's over I'm laying there, pale and twitching, like I've lost too much blood. My nerves are shot and I wonder if I'm in pain, I know I should be but I can't feel anything. My body and mind are numb. This happens over and over again, and it will for as long as I'm asleep.
I'm trapped in this house. This big, white house.

My friends are animals

I know a girl who moves like a cat.
I met this kid who drags his knuckles on the ground like a gorilla.
I know a boy with the eyes of a raccoon.
And a girl with a neck like a giraffe.
A girl who squeals like a pig during sex.
And one as quiet as a mouse.
A boy with a long mane, shiny coat, and horse mouth to match.
One short and stout like a hippo.
A direct descendant of Toucan Sam.
A lost puppy that will never be a dawg. Hahaha.
One who eats like a snake.
A vulture.
A rat...

Karmacoma

I could be watching a movie about a severely misunderstood teenager who gets involved with the wrong crowd, who makes a couple of bad decisions or goes through a traumatizing event, like being raped, and throws all their hopes and ambitions out the window and instead turns to drugs and living on the streets. Say, at some point in this movie, the kid needs a fix, so with their group of friends, they run into a lady walking down the street in the dead of night. They mug her, they beat her and render her unconcious, she's bleeding, but definitely not dead. They steal her money, or her car, or whatever else it is that they need, and then they leave her. And this character, this woman, is gone for the rest of the film.
Everyone likes to make something extravagant out of their lives. Everyone likes to relate to someone much worse off than they are. Lessons are learned by creating solutions to the new problems that present themselves on a daily basis. What I mean to say is that this teenager in the movie could, very likely, have a lot of interesting things to say, but on a more realistic level, you are the woman who was mugged.
Now here's some ranting for you.
Recently, I've seen a lot of people do some very selfish things that take a lot of effect on the people around them. Yes; this has upset me before. And although this isn't something I can't stand to be around, I more find it to be like a muscle spasm that I can't do shit about. Annoying in its own way after a while.
Take for example--
People who claim to know the secrets of manipulation on how to get into a person's head and mess with them on an emotional level.
The characters in the movie are a simple way of saying that people won't ever really know each other. Bad things happen to everyone, for no apparent reason.
You could be bringing a very bad day to rock bottom, or simply just being a downer on one of the better days.
No one spills their guts to just anyone. There's a lot of food being shoved under the table so it doesn't look like there's very much on our plates.
What happened to thinking about things before acting on them?
People will tell me exactly what I want to hear, but eventually I'll get sick of hearing what I want so often that I'll want to hear the exact opposite of what I thought I wanted in the first place. But it humors me to think that some people consider others to be that stupid.
Gradually you come to realize that all you need are good intentions.
Your perception is your reality. The way you choose to take in the things around you determines the world that you live in. I'm in your reality, and you're in mine, but they're completely different. And, yes, ultimately we're each living in our own three pound universe.

I'd like to think everyone has a place on the ladder. I'd also like to guarantee that my company will be well kept. I'd love to give everyone enough credit to not assume they're an asshole. It seems more and more apparent that we're all stepping on each other to get somewhere, unwillingly, willingly...I don't want to wipe anyone's ass. I used to think there was one moving, breathing mass known to all humankind; that in a messed up way everything works together (though, I suppose it still does), now I think this is a virus made of hiccups and coughs that all eventually lead to vomiting.
And I'm sick.
Or you could say I'm just having a bad night.